Steve Lawson, disgraced former pastor of Trinity Bible Church of Dallas, Texas, has released a book about his fall, according to Amazon. He was removed from ministry in 2024 after confessing to a relationship he had with a woman not his wife.
The 122-page, self-published paperback, titled “Mercy in the Wilderness: How I Fell & What I Found,” is advertised as “Raw, deeply personal, and profoundly humbling.”
The book is presented on Amazon as an “unflinching” confession rather than an exercise in self-justification.
On the first page, however, Lawson notes that “The details of my story are not important.” He then describes the metaphorical wilderness he found himself in after he “squandered trust” and talks about how God can use the “wilderness” for his purposes.
“The scorching sun beats down on my head,” Lawson writes. “The blazing hot air blisters my face. The dark nights are agonizingly long. The scene is bleak. Nothing grows here — except God’s servants.”
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Some initially doubted that Lawson wrote “Mercy in the Wilderness,” suggesting the title was an AI fake. The discernment site Protestia reported Sept. 25 that the book is “entirely real and authored by Lawson.”
Christian blogger Elizabeth Prata wrote Sept. 28 that Phil Johnson, recently retired as a pastor at Grace Community Church, and itinerant evangelist Justin Peters also each confirmed Lawson is the author.
Trinity Bible Church of Dallas removed Lawson indefinitely from all ministry activities in September 2024 after he informed its elders of what the church called an inappropriate relationship, as Roys Report (RR) reported.
Lawson had also been dean of D.Min. studies at The Master’s Seminary which, like Grace Community Church, was led by the late John MacArthur. The seminary told students in an email that Lawson had been removed from pastoral ministry and was permanently disqualified from further ministry, RR reported.
OnePassion Ministries, which Lawson founded, also said he had confessed an inappropriate relationship to the board, a sin the organization said disqualified him from ministry. Lawson later resigned from OnePassion in October 2024.
Critics, however, have questioned whether Lawson offered a full account of his misconduct in these confessions. Initial details were vague and when more facts emerged, the “relationship” appeared to fit experts’ definition of clergy sexual abuse. Clergy sexual abuse is illegal in Texas, but not in California.
In a since-deleted post on X published Sept. 25, 2024, Johnson wrote that Lawson told his elders only after the woman’s father confronted him and threatened to expose him.
“This was not a noble confession of sin,” Johnson said. He also noted the woman was in her 20s at the time, while Lawson was in his 70s.
Johnson later acknowledged that the woman was also a student at The Master’s University when the relationship began.
Lawson broke six months of public silence with a post on X the night before RR’s March 13, 2025, story. “I have sinned grievously against the Lord,” he wrote. He said he had betrayed and deceived his wife and devastated his children, and that he had waited to speak so he could examine whether his repentance was real.
Lawson wrote that he was undergoing intensive counseling and had submitted to accountability with two pastors and the elders of a local congregation, as well as an accountability team that monitors his progress. He did not mention Trinity Bible Church and did not name the church overseeing his recovery.
Lawson attended Stephens Valley Church in Nashville, Tennessee. The pastor, Jim Bachmann, said Lawson was not a member and was not teaching, preaching or serving in ministry there.
“He’s just a quiet, very quiet worshipper,” Bachmann said.
Lawson’s self-published book is selling for $14.99. According to Amazon, it is the No. 1 bestseller in “Christian Forgiveness & Mercy.”
Mark A. Kellner is a reporter based in Mesquite, Nevada. He most recently covered statewide elections for the New York Post and was for three years the Faith & Family Reporter for The Washington Times. Mark is a graduate of the University of the Cumberlands and also attended Boston University’s College of Communication.
20 Responses
Lawson might be the “author” but this passage…
“The scorching sun beats down on my head,” Lawson writes. “The blazing hot air blisters my face. The dark nights are agonizingly long. The scene is bleak. Nothing grows here — except God’s servants.”
sure makes it sound like he used AI to write it.
Why? He is a professional writer.
Is he talking about himself or his wife and kids? I hope he finds reconciliation but seems like writing a book right now is kind of self serving.
So now he’s profiting off it?
It’s the American/Pottersville way. How to turn a lemon 🍋 into Lemonade.
He’s really some piece of work. The first unbelievable thing for me was when her said he wasn’t a member at the church where he preached so the elders couldn’t discipline him. And now he’ll tell you about what a bad boy he was for the astonishingly low price if $14.99!
“My Giftedness Exceeded my Godliness.” Sounds like he has some work to do in the area of humility.
Dawn, you just triggered my memory concerning the church who gave their pastor a badge for his humility. They eventually took
it back of him because he wouldn’t stop wearing it. True story? Well it sounds like something a contemporary US church & pastor would regret & do. 🤔
This is just plain obscene behavior from Lawson that smacks of humble brag. Ick.
Reminds me of how Tullian has gone on and on in social media about “now really understanding grace” and continuing to use a ministry platform
Ahhh…you have to hand it to the church leaders. They preach to the congregants without having any guilt or remorse about their sinful lives behind the scene. Not until they are about to be outed will they “confess”. They all seem to go on to other churches after being “restored” or they end up writing a book for profit. The bigger churches seem to breed wolves in sheep’s clothing. No wonder the unsaved do not want anything to do with Christianity.
He should honestly stop trying to speak publicly, whether through preaching or a book. Man needs to get his life together privately and realize he can no longer have a public platform. I read this and thought, “man, go away!” Yet another example of the overly confident preacher born out of the rigid Reformed culture and the “Young, Restless, Reformed” movement (pretty much just “Young, Immature, and Superficial”). What happened with Lawson may have been the final straw for me to separate the theology of the Reformation from the toxic culture that brewed in the late 2000s when I was a student at The Master’s College. The level of outward focus and impossible expectations (man goes to college and hopes to find a theologically sound, super model looking wife who will marry him before he goes to seminary) created pompous preachers like Lawson. They criticized the Charismatic church and their fallen leaders, rightly so, but Lawson gets to come out of hiding and write a book about what he did? Disgusting.
“reformed” doctrine has NOTHING to do with this.
We might suggest a rule of thumb; if a fallen pastor attempts to profit from his sin, we might have decent reason to doubt his repentance.
I can see a very real place for a fallen pastor writing about the circumstances, without royalties, to help others understand what kind of warning signs there are to a pastor going astray. But trying to profit from it? No. Leave your position, go find a job that you’re capable of doing, even if it involves a blue vest with a yellow smiley face, and restart your life.
For the life of me, I can’t imagine why someone would want to read this book
I’ve got to tell you all something so you’ll understand what kind of man Steve is. Steve and the young woman were just friends for a long time, and the relationship didn’t become sexual until right before Steve was exposed.
The only reason people found out was Steven went into a confessional and told the priest he’d been a dedicated Christian faithfully married to his wife for over 50 years until last night when he made wild passionate love to the a beautiful 25 year old woman for 8 straight hours. The priest started to tell Steve what he and to do for penance, but Steve interrupted and him and said he was Protestant and didn’t believe in penance. So the priest asked, “Then why are you telling me this?!”
And Steve said, “I’m 74 years old. I’m telling everybody!”
Thank you for mentioning the sex abuse. From what I’ve read, sounds like he groomed the girl. If so, he is a predator, not an adulterer.
I see that his idolaters and yes men have allowed him to release a book instead of, I don’t know, repairing relationships? I was a member of his Mobile church and he was idolized so much it was sickening. He could do no wrong and was always obsessed with himself, his accomplishments, and his overseas trips. Him being idolized so much was a problem then and seems to still be a problem now. He should not be releasing this book as it is, in my eyes, a form of pastoral work/ministry.
Well, you can’t keep a good man down.
There is nothing he could do short of flagellating himself in public that would please his critics. No doubt King David faced the same kind of cynicism after his fall and repentance.